Ghosting him like Google Maps on Lower Wacker

First off, Columbus found America on accident, so let’s relax with saying everyone understands directions, or how compasses work, or which way is East, or where the f*cking Lake is, ok?

When I say I'm bad at directions, I don't mean that in a stereotypical girl playing dumb, looking for attention "silly me" way. I mean it in the sense that I genuinely have no sense of direction and natural selection would have had its' way with me if I was born in any other generation before Google Maps. Geography has never been a strong point of mine, so if you’re easily annoyed by listening to someone complain about something that’s “so simple” to you, then by all means feel free to stop reading now, Einstein.

Ghosting him like GPS on lower wacker. 

It’s all fun and games until you’re on lower wacker and your GPS has an absolute mental breakdown and abruptly ends things like a high school boyfriend who got caught cheating. I did some research (and by that I mean I googled it) to see if there’s anything in the works to improve this. I found a few articles that all had the same info. All super excited like it was free healthcare, stating that in August 2018 Waze and SpotHero installed over 400 beacons along lower Wacker to help improve cell reception. Only take away from this is you need your bluetooth on, it’s still pretty sh*t reception, lots of angry comments from uber/lyft drivers and no further articles have been written addressing this concern. Safe to say, this issue has not been fixed at this time. 

Grid System

I get it, it’s a grid. But if I’m on Michigan Ave, my initial thought process is never, you know what this reminds me of, a checkers board, perhap a gingham dress shirt. No,  I’m like, this looks like Michigan Avenue, perhaps we can grab a Garrett’s popcorn tin on our way out. On that note, so I’m not forever listening to Google Maps in my airpods, (see what I casually did there haha)  I decided I’d finally learn it. After mentally telling everyone to f*ck off while reading each article’s opener telling me how easy and simple it was to learn, here’s what we got.  

“Chicago is laid out like a grid with the epicenter being at Madison and State. Each street is then labeled North, East, South, and West based on their relation to the heart of the grid system. The address, or coordinate, at Madison and State is 0/0.

From there, each city block address rises in increments of 100. Two blocks north of Madison and State would be 200 North Madison and so on and so forth.”

Which way is the lake?

To be fair, Chicago has the third largest amounts of sky scrapers in the entire United States. Unless I’m about to set sail or on Lake Shore Drive, how necessary is using the lake as a reference point? Why can’t I focus on other landmarks visible to me? Like RainForest Cafe or that weird strip club next to Prysm that is somehow still in business. What value is utilizing the lake that’s 7 city blocks away when 7-11 is right on the corner. I love that these instagram worthy wall murals are getting popular because they’re great reference points. “turn left after the avocado wall.” done. simple. Also, can someone please tell my dad to stop saying “Go West at ____ street.” It’s just annoying both of us, and even google maps is confused. I have no compass, I’m not out here trying to determine if the sun set’s in the east for my hours of sunlight to tend to my crops. Only person utilizing this information is realtors to up charge that gorgeous high rise.  I'm sure a lot of people born and raised in Chicago probably cringed reading this. But as a transplant, (who almost failed 9th grade geography) I owe a lot to google maps. (I love this city.)

Have a Great Day Chicago! Keep your location settings and bluetooth on!

XOXO,

Liz

Also, big shout out to our favorite people at Happy Camper for liking our quote so much they put it above their emergency exit hahaha We love you guys! If you haven't already, I highly recommend checking out Happy Camper. Pizza is amazing, awesome drinks and atmosphere, (lots of instagram worthy photo ops and neon signs) and just overall great people!  They're actually opening up a second location in Wrigley soon too! 

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